Rat in a Cage

My parents run their own business and consequently make frequent trips usually within North America for 4-5 days at a time.  It’s no biggie.  However for my grandmother, this seems to be a huge fraking deal.  Everytime.
What we mere peasants and lay people, in this case her grandchildren, seem to be unaware of is that bad things will happen over the next few days before my parents get back, unless…unless specific criteria is met. 
1.  All the food in the fridge must be used.  Not hungry?  No one cares, finish the food in the fridge now!  Why?  Because in a roundabout way but through totally logical reasoning at the same time, we will die if the food isn’t finished.
2.  Lock the front door at all times.  Also, be sure to check that the front door is locked at least every 45 minutes.  Why?  Not only will we die if this step is not followed, but chances of being raped and robbed increase exponentially.  Sidenote:  I literally left the house for 10 minutes and came back to find that my grandma had already locked the door.  The woman moves fast.
3.   To report to her every single phone call made.  More specifically if my parents don’t call any one of the days they are gone, it is because something bad has happened.  Most likely they have died.
Ah I can’t wait for my parents to get back.
ps. Love you Grandma, never change.
Rat in a Cage

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