Overheard at the Office

Depending on your personality/interests my current scenario would either be heaven or hell for you. Of course, you could also be indifferent to it I suppose.

I currently share office space with a Indian Astrologer and have been for the past 5-6 months. While I don’t believe in astrology at all, I don’t judge those that do. It’s just not how I do. The way I see it, those guys (real talk though, why are they always dudes?) provide some sense of comfort to their clients and a listening ear to people who just want to have someone hear them.

That’s the relentless optimist in me. At the same time I’ve heard all the stories that you probably have about these Astrologer dudes swindling people out of hundreds of dollars.

Yeah.

I could write much much more about this topic but maybe some other day. What I did want to write about is, that today I forgot my headphones that I use to tune out conversations between the Astrologer and his clients. I like to listen to music when he’s with clients cause:

A. I don’t feel like I have the right to be able to hear those conversations

B. I don’t want their nonsensical conversations bouncing around in my head. Major distraction.

But, alas, I forgot my headphones today and am hoping by posting these gems here I can purge them from my head. In no order I present some snippets overheard today. All these quotes are by clients cause to be honest the Astrologer hmm’s and yes’ most of the time.

No I told you, he did black magic on me and my son and now you do more back at him! Double what he did on me….or even triple.

*****

I felt so good after leaving here last time but then last night I couldn’t stop crying. I was crying all night, I couldn’t sleep at all. Now today I have a headache. I think it’s cause of the spell she put on me. She’s making me have a headache.

*****

My boyfriend is my soulmate and this girl cursing me is his friend. I think she’s just jealous of me. But she’s Indian too so you know she knows this stuff [curses/black magic] really well. Like this is why I’m worried about her.

*****

Hey I lost hundreds of dollars to one of you guys! The Astrologer at [address], yeah him, he took all my money and I didn’t even get better……so how much you charge?

*****

Last one for now. The Astrologer speaks broken English so sometimes he has trouble understanding clients who speak English. This was a wonderful exchange.

Client: I’ve had this health problem now for five years now, when will it be better?

Astrologer: For how long have you had it?

C: For five years!

A: Ah, fourty five years.

C: No. For FIVE years!

A: Oh, I see four to five years.

C: NO. I. Have. This. Problem. Five. Years.

Me: *facepalm*

Overheard at the Office